Thursday, February 26, 2009

HNT - Take you to the other side

The flip side of last week's post...with a hand lent by Sir.

Appreciate the others at Views from the Back Row


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Prejudice Part 2 - Gender

It's taken me a while, but here is the second installment of my Prejudice series.

I am a female-bodied woman. The greatest influences in my childhood were two very strong women: my mother and my paternal grandmother.

My grandmother was widowed at a relatively young age and never remarried. She had a large house with over an acre of yard that she kept maintained better than most parks you have to pay to see. She also kept a large garden that she plowed and managed by herself. She worked hard at her job and was well known and respected in our small town community. She had a grace and dignity that I have never seen in any other person. She never raised her voice – she never had to. She commanded respect because of her respect for other people.

My mother worked very hard at a very physically and emotionally demanding job, while her husband (my biological father) contributed very little to the household. While working 60 hours a week, and with two adolescent children, my mother went back to college and graduated magna cum laude. She taught me that I could overcome any obstacle with my own strength – including an abusive marriage. (Again, another topic for another day.)

The main similarity in these two remarkable women is that they never let anyone tell them their actions depended on them being female. Both of them took care of things that needed to be taken care of – whether or not they had help. I grew up knowing I could do anything a male-bodied person can do, specifically that being a woman does not limit my potential.

As a young adult, I entered the wonderful world of law at a solo practitioner's office in this same small town. I started off as a file clerk and worked my way up to the highest position available short of becoming an attorney. I'm very good at law. It makes sense to me and I really enjoy studying it. That office is where I saw some of the very worst gender prejudice of my life.

I was often referred to as “that little curly headed girl at (attorney's name)'s office.” Men would come in for a professional legal consultation-type meeting with me and say things like, “Oh it's a shame you are married. Are you sure I can't take you to lunch?” and, if they had only previously communicated with me via phone or email, “Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise. Pretty and smart.”

I knew what I was doing. My boss and most other legal professionals treated me with great respect because they also knew I knew what I was doing. Still, those comments served their purpose quite well: they stripped me from my knowledge and left me with my looks and leaving me feeling that only my looks were “worthy” of note. By the time I left that office, I had started deliberately wearing very plain clothing, pulling my hair into a bun, and attempting to look at boring as possible. Not that I was previously wearing provocative clothing – I just decided I couldn't really be myself if I wanted to be respected. This is part of the reason I don't work there any more.

What bothers me are incorrect expectations of gender: Women can't be smart and pretty. Men can't be strong and sensitive. If you are transgendered you are expected to be all and none of those descriptions at the same time.

At what point will our society stop forcing individual expectations on people based on gender?
prejudice: (definitions 2 &3)
2. any preconceived opinion or feeling, either favorable or unfavorable.
3. unreasonable feelings, opinions, or attitudes, esp. of a hostile nature, regarding a racial, religious, or national group.

Of course we will never be able to rid ourselves completely of preconceived opinions and I don't claim to be without such. What I propose is that you make a conscious effort to set those prejudices aside and attempt to relate to individuals rather than genders.

To see what prejudices you really have you need to observe yourself observing others. Pick a day when you will be out in public, among lots of people you don't know – like at a mall. Sit and watch the people go by. Recognize your expectations from those people purely based on their gender.

But it's more than knowing your own limitations. It's about treating people with respect, regardless of their gender.

It is important to me that my children know they don't have to do or not do anything because of their genders. I will feel I have been successful as parent if my children grow to a place where they are sensitive to the fact that everyone is not the same - That people are all different on the inside no matter what gender they are on the outside. That all people are of value and deserve to be treated as such.

As a person who cares intimately for a transgendered person, I frequently see the expectations of people and how much those expectations hurt someone who doesn't meet them.

We all want to feel accepted and loved. It isn't your place or mine to judge someone's character by their appearance, including their gender appearance. That is prejudice.

Monday, February 23, 2009

MicroFantasy Monday - Waterside

We pull the boat over to a wooded vacant shore. The day's party is forcing a "bathroom break." Everyone scrambles to claim their part of the woods. You follow me into the woods, ignoring my protests of modesty.

I'll wait over here.

When I finish and look, you aren't there. I start back toward the boat, wondering why you left me. I'm getting irritated that you insisted on following me, but then didn't wait for me.

Suddenly you step out from behind a group of 3 large trees, grabbing my arm. As I gasp in surprise, your lips find mine, sucking the gasp from my mouth. The bark scratches my bare stomach as you push me against a tree, your hands tugging down my bikini bottom.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Purple Surrender

I really love purple. It is somewhat extreme actually, especially for someone who likes to work on house projects with power tools, rake leaves and push mow the yard (even though I'm not great at all that.)

So imagine my joy in using a purple flogger. Seeing the purple cause the red. Hearing the purple cause the gasps. Smelling the scent. Touching the welts. Tasting...

It would have been nice if the collar had been purple. It really was a little comical looking to me. That didn't subtract from the pulse through my spine as I jerked it down and back with the leash.

I would love to fuck in a dark purple room. Like deep violet. Oh, with silky purple sheets so I when I push you down, you can't really resist - You just slide wherever I put you.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

HNT - Working my way up

You probably haven't noticed, but since my HNT post on 01/14/09, I've been working my way up my body in posts. First it was shoes, then legs, then hip, then more hip (stretch marks). So today I present:

Lower back

I could fix it with a photo editor, but I think I like how the light catches more in some places than others - or maybe it's some sort of focus issue. Whatever. I really need a camera.


I wasn't going to use this one and was going to go with upper abs instead, but someone (ERIN LEONE) said he likes lower backs and then honored me with a mention...



Oh, and this officially confirms
Baby got back. :)

Appreciate the others at Views from the Back Row


Monday, February 16, 2009

Totally Fuckable Tuesday - Olivia Wilde

I have watched "House" pretty faithfully since it began because I've always thought the character House to be just so sexy in a bad-guy kinda way.

Then the cast changed, and now House pales in comparison to his co-star, Olivia Wilde.

I even bought a magazine about something I am not really interested in because she was on the cover.

Yeah... wouldn't you have?

I much prefer her as a brunette, although since she is a natural blonde I thought I should let you decide for yourself.

Credit to Beautiful Dreamer for starting me on TFT. It's a great idea. Seriously. What a great excuse to post pictures of hot people I'd shag on my page? ;)

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Purple Tulips - Microfantasy Monday #4

We were good after the first date, restraining ourselves to only serious kissing. When we realized we both had the next night free, we immediately made plans.

I drove over to your house, anticipatory wetness seeping through my panties. You thought it was funny that I just threw on a tee shirt and jogging pants. I said I didn't think it was necessary to dress up when I knew the clothes were just going to land on the floor anyway.

We agreed we should eat first. You had already set the table and brought food into the dining room. I could barely look at you while we ate because of the images of you finally consuming me dancing through my mind. When I was able to look up, you would drop your eyes – you were having the same thoughts. I don't think I've ever eaten so fast in my life.

When we finished eating I grabbed my plate and headed to the kitchen. I saw the potted purple tulips sitting on the kitchen counter. They were a deep dark purple, my very favorite. I actually assumed they were a gift you had received as a house warming present, and said so. You came up behind me, wrapping your strong arms around me, whispering

They are for you - just the first of many things I have for you tonight.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Happily Imperfect HNT

I love posting sexy pictures and getting comments. Who doesn't like flattery? You may say you don't, but come on now - we are all insecure in some way and compliments from others boost our self esteem.

This one isn't so sexy. I tried to get a good picture of my hip stretch marks. My camera sucks, so here's what you get.

And in case you missed them....

Where did I get these marks? Pregnancy. 2 kids in under 2 years. You know what? I'm proud of these marks. Yes, I am terribly self conscious at times about them, but as time passes I grow more and more fond of them. They remind me of the joy of growing 2 human beings in my body, and of the 2 gifts I got in return for them. The greatest loves of my life.

(And I did notice my undies are on inside-out when I saw this picture. Also a lovely reminder of my mom status.)

Appreciate the others at Views from the Back Row


Sex Toys, That Company, & Blogs

I suddenly realized these are all sitting on a towel on my dresser out in the open. They weren't all used at once or on the same day, I'm just too lazy to put them away after letting them dry from cleaning. This isn't my whole collection, but yes - I do have an obvious affinity for pink. :)

I really enjoy sex toys. As my current income is ridiculously low, the only toys I have gotten in the last couple of months have been free ones from a company (see banner on right) for free.

I shop at that company for sex toys because it is the only online company I have found that specifically provides information about material safety with the product descriptions. Before finding that company I had no idea that some sex toys could be (and one actually has been) hazardous to my health. Even before I was getting free toys from said company I was recommending it to my friends and shopping there.

You will notice there are no sex toy reviews hosted here on my blog. To be perfectly honest, I don't know enough about HTML to host my reviews here rather than on that company's site. There are other companies I could offer myself to for review purposes, and I have done so, but this blog is relatively new and I have been rejected for that reason. I will likely someday post reviews here, but for now, I'm not.

There have been some problems between reviewers and that company. I have seen that company respond in ways I do not like to reviewer complaints. I have seen reviewers leave and I feel they are completely justified in doing so. Currently I have voiced concerns on the company's forums about some of the "guides" they have published on-site. I hate them and I want them changed, but I don't know exactly who to contact about that. I fully intend to keep making noise about it until something is done. I read today that there is a plan to do something about it in progress, so I'm giving them time to do that before I really start ranting.

Some people say that company is not "sex-positive" and that because of that and the problems some reviewers have had, it is not a company worthy of reviewer participation. Again, from what I have seen I don't blame those reviewers for being angry; however, at this point in my limited experience I feel the benefits of material safety information outweigh the negative experiences I have had with that company.

Last week a very influential "sex blogger" said that people shouldn't have so many toys reviews on their blogs. A couple of other influential "sex bloggers" jumped on board. All of them generally said that they hate seeing so many toy reviews, that the companies people are writing for are not "sex-positive", and that people shouldn't call themselves a "sex blogger" if the majority of their blog posts are sex toy reviews. Sex toy reviewers responded, understandably, with hurt and frustration.

Guess what? You are reading MY blog. You chose to keep reading to this point and you are more than welcome to stop reading it and move on. I write about sex related topics here, including experiences in gender, sexuality, and toys. Look at my blog roll. Those are people I respect enough to list their blogs on mine. If you actually go look at their blogs you will see an almost even mix of sex toy reviews and other sexual topics such as gender and experience.

Point: If you want to call yourself a sex blogger, a monkey blogger, or anything else, I really don't care. If you want to write about sex toys, yipee! If you want to write about your thoughts on sexism, yipee! If you don't like that company and because I advertise for them you don't want to read my posts, yipee! I'm going to read what I want and you are going to write about what you want. Am I a "sex blogger"? Probably. Are people who primarily review sex toys on their blogs "sex bloggers"? My opinion: Well, duh - they are reviewing SEX toys.

*Disclaimer: There are some sex toy reviewer blogs that are really awful. If you read a blog and the posts never mention material safety concerns, sharing issues (whether or not the toy can be safely shared), or most of the posts seem more like advertisements for a company than reviews of products - you should probably take a look at my blog roll for better reviews.*

Please stop criticizing. There are lots of blogs out there about lots of different topics and I don't see why you even care about the topics of others' blog posts. Don't read them if you don't like them.

Now, as for me

I need to go do something with those toys...

Monday, February 9, 2009

Let it Burn - Microfantasy Monday #3

Almost as good as the fucking was her cooking. Damnable woman knew my weakness for her chicken casserole. I pulled up to her place, hungry for her pussy and her food. I knocked, she called out "Come in, it's open." I walked in and didn't see her.

Where are you?

In the kitchen. I almost have dinner ready.

She was stirring something on the counter wearing nothing but a red plaid apron, her breasts straining against the shoulder straps, nipples barely covered. Our eyes met: My eyes conveying my intentions, her eyes responding with a little fear. Pressing her against the counter, I spread her legs with my foot. As I entered her from behind, she bent over the counter, mouth falling open.

The casserole needs to come out of the oven.

Let it burn.

Microfantasy Monday #2 - Travel

It seemed like a great idea: taking all of our children together on a trip. We didn't realize it would result in a nearly sexless vacation. Finally one night the kids are staying with grandparents and we've been given the “see ya in the morning.” We go to the club, drink, admire the insanely hot bartender girls, and speculate as to which would be the most fun to pick up for the night. But we can't keep our hands off each other long enough to attempt to talk to one, so we leave. We run to the van, getting drenched with the rain. You lean over and wipe the water from my cleavage, and then drop your head to kiss the valley. I push you back into your seat, unzipping your pants and taking you fully in my mouth. You start driving. We pull into the condo parking lot, the heat steaming the windows. We climb to the back of the van. In the morning we see the footprints on the window.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

A study on ethnography and dykes

A repost. Please repost & participate.

Do you identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, bi-curious, queer, questioning, or otherwise same-sex attracted? Are you of African American or Latina descent? Are you age 18 and older? Even if you prefer not to label yourself, we are interested in your experience!

I am a doctoral student at Emory University conducting research on attitudes about sexual identity and community held by same-sex attracted women of African American or Latina descent

Participation involves the completion of an online questionnaire and will take approximately 30 minutes of your time.

Your participation is voluntary and anonymous.

If you are interested in participating in this study please follow the link provided below or cut and paste the link into your web browser:

You may also assist with this project by forwarding this e-mail request to LGBT-themed organizations and listservs, and/or to same-sex attracted individuals.

To request additional information or questions about this study, or to request a hard copy of the questionnaire in English or Spanish please contact Monique Carry at . Thank you,

Monique Carry Doctoral Candidate, Sociology Department of Sociology Emory University, Atlanta GA

Friday, February 6, 2009

Can You Really Watch This Without Tears?

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

HNT - Reminder

Out with friends. Sneaking into the bathroom just to remind you.

Appreciate the others at Views from the Back Row



Feeling your eyes staying on me, even as I am walking away. What a talent, making them think you are interested while you are buzzing me with that remote. I see the way you touch their arms, shoulders while you are talking– ever the gentleman charming the ladies.

Finding ourselves on the dance floor. The music is a perfect hot rhythm, the sex energy of the club beating louder than the bass.

Feeling her behind me as I'm dancing closer to you. Seeing your eyes watching as her hands travel up and down my body, grasping my breasts, squeezing my ass. Our eyes locking, you telling me you like watching her desire for me knowing you are the one who will be tasting me later.

Buzz. Buzz......Me smiling with just with the corners of my mouth to let you know it is working. You pulling my head to yours and kissing me long and deep while the music pulses through the three of us – you, me, her. Your strong arms pulling her closer to me, closer to you.

We've got to get out of here. Getting the tab, getting outside. Walking to the car... the bouncers staring at your hand on my ass. Feeling your wetness while you start the car. My hands traveling under your pants, you pushing me back. Keeping my hands on you as you drive, enjoying the payback of the time you tortured me while I drove.

Pushing my dress up, pulling my tights down, standing in the hallway as you pull the bullet from my dripping pussy and drive yourself into me. My knees buckling. You holding me up while fucking me slow and steady, but so hard I gasp with each thrust. I am fighting it because I want to wait, but you are pushing and pushing.

Suddenly everything is stopping. You grabbing me up like a doll and shoving me to the bedroom. Ripping the rest of the clothes from my body as I hover on the brink. Flipping me onto my stomach to take me from behind. Pounding me from behind, you watching your cock slide in and out. Me shuddering and screaming into the pillow. My body is so hot, my skin flushing with the heat of you.

I'm not stopping until you spray the sheets like a dirty whore.

Feeling your finger at my ass. Filling me up from behind while driving me down into the bed at your mercy. Leaning down onto my back, reaching around and pinching my clit with your free hand.

Be a good girl. Give it to me.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Microfantasy #1 - Neverland

As always, the music is blaring as I shower, singing away the dirt off my soul. At the moment I turn the water off, in a pause between songs I hear the banging on the kitchen door. Who could it be? I'm not expecting anyone at 8:00 p.m. on a Wednesday night. The kids are with their father and my cell phone is in the bathroom with me - the father would have called if something was wrong.

I quickly pat down and toss on my robe. The knocking keeps going. Someone is really wanting my attention. Peeking out the dining room curtains I can barely see the outline of a sedan-like car because I haven't left any porch lights on and it's dark.

This is making me a little scared. I lock the deadbolt and flip on the porch light.

My head feels dizzy as I see you standing there from behind the door curtain. You smile that smile that melts me. I open the door. It's been years since I've seen you, but you look the same, just better.

"Why...what....I just got out of the shower."

"I figured. I heard the music" That same smile.

"Is something wrong? Did something happen to you or your kids?"

"No. May I come in?"

I open the door. "Come on in, let me go get some clothes on."

Mostly running to the bedroom, my mind races. What in the world are you doing here? Should I try to put on make up? Hmmm, you always said you thought me the prettiest right out of the shower. Maybe not. What can I put on? You know I wear jogging pants at home. Ok. Those red ones are cute and still casual. Crap. I think my heart is going to explode. Damn damn tears. This can only be because you want me. Right?

Ok. Just breathe.

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